Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Testing

Ok so when you want to invite new member to your guild.

You need to check level of trials brain damage.

There are few ways to how to find out:

1.Talk with him:

[GLDeath]: Hello mate, i understand you want to be trial in my guild right?
[Trial]: Ye you can bet granpa
[GLDeath]: Granpa? I see. You can join if you farm 50 FoSP for guildcoughmecough
[Trial]: What?? Are you reatarded?
[GLDeath]: Yes indeed i am. It was joke. Still wanna join guild?
[Trial]: Phew, yes ofcourse i want :D

Trial has joined the guild.

[Guild][GLDeath]: Welcome, goodbye

Trial has been kicked out of the guild by GLDeath

Ye, call your GL tard and than still hope for joining guild. Thats what i call brain damage.

2. You can test him in some instance

5 men starting, trial tank ready to pull.

"Ok go"

Tank charges, first SB agro, taunt, second sb, agro.

GLDeath dies.

Ooooook. Deep breath.

And than absolute shock comes :P

[Party][Tank]: Are fucking retarded? Do you have to nuke like idiot?
[Party][GLDeath]: Calm down please.
[Party][Tank]: Ok but stop fucking overagro.

Ok next pull.

Charge, CoE, imolate, agro, taunt, nothing agro.

Soulshatter, mob turns back to tank.

[Party][GLDeath]: Could you please start tanking? Ty
[Party][Tank]: I AM TANKING. NOOB Nuker

Tank was kicked by GLDeath.

3. Last and worst option is to invite him to guild as trial without testing

Normally ends like this.

Mostly they tell ya they are skilled like hell.
You invite him to raid. Most probably its some DPS.

Raid starts, first pull, new member down.

Second pull new member down, same group of trash mobs.

If he dies again on third pull...

Trial has been kicked from raid by GLDeath.

Trial has been kicked from guild by GLDeath.

Its freaky hard to find normal players really.


Monday, April 28, 2008

Manipulation

Ye in fact I am not person you want to know in real life.

I like to move my game powers to reality. Really badly.

Only thing that is still saving the world is, that I still didnt find out how to punish people like in game.

Maybe you think I am sick.

My favourite blogger [GM]Dave wrote one big true.

Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

I am absolutely corrupted. Even more.

Last time i nearly kicked my mother from guild.

She had really bad day. Came tired from work. Really tired. After 24 hours.

So you can imagine middle age woman after whole day at work. Just to add, having her days.

She was like fury warrior in bunch of mobs. Only thing you can do against this is /cover.

You can only be quiet and listen well. And than, when she says something wrong, grab that word and answer as much sarcasticaly as you can. If you plan to commit suicide.

Yea i did. Unfortunately. I had to spend whole day in pub. She wasnt talking to me for few days.

But still while she was shouting at me i typed few times /gkick mom. You wont believe me.
It didnt work :S. I would say something is broken IRL.

I say gief me powers to demote or promote :D, to kick and to invite (to life).

Would be awesome, just imagine pub situation

[GLDeath]: Hey waiter, i want a beer gief one
[Waiter]: No you had enough already

Waiter has been kicked out of pub by GLDeath.

Random person has been promoted by GLDeath to Waiter.

I could really live with that :P Wouldnt you?

You listen well, youre fine with me. You dont, i ll kick.

I want my magic button IRL.

GLDeath

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Alcohol

Yes.

Alcohol is pretty dangerous thing. And unfortunately, even perfect people, (like me) are not resistant.

Worst combination ever is alcohol and being GL of wow guild. And you can make worst thing even worse in this case. Get drunk and come online.

GL influenced by tons of beer, is something you dont want to meet in dark alley.

To make it worse, lets say he is even pissed.

So in fact, we have very drunk GL, seriously pissed and he is going online.

Huricane is bad? Not really

[Guild][GLDeath]: Hey noobs.

Trial mage has been kicked out of guild by GLDeath

[Guild][Member]: Wtf. Whats up Death?

Member has been kicked out of guild by GLDeath

Now that was silence :D

Few minutes nothing in gchat.

[Guild][GLsfavouritemember]: Death why you kicked him?
[Guild][GLDeath]: He whispered me. Not in mood for whispers.
[Guild][GLsfavouritemember]: ... u are sick
[Guild][GLDeath]: indeed i am

GLsfavouritemember has been kicked out of guild by GLDeath.

Ye in fact its not problem to kick someone.

Funny part of it is to explain it next day. Its like explaining to your mother why you killed your own father.

Ok its not. But anyway its funny :D

[GLDeath]: Hey mate, wanna talk a bit?
[GLsfavouritemember]: not really, what you want
[GLDeath]: Come back to guild, i didnt want to kick ya
[GLsfavouritemember]: Not really, u kicked me. Without word
[GLDeath]: Thats true. I was drunk. Sorry (Something little has died inside me after that word)
[GLsfavouritemember]: Wow u really said sorry? Ok invite me if you want

GLsfavouritemember has joined the guild.

[Guild][GLsfavouritemember]: Hey again guys. You wont believe me.

GLsfavouritemember has been kicked out of guild by GLDeath.

Ye sad, i said sorry to him and he was about to broadcast it in radio or so.

Yes, drinking is bad. But whatever, wow is still just game right?

Worst about alcohol is the day after. At work.

And yes i was drinking yesterday so i feel like hit by the truck.

Signing off
GLDeath

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

"Pull Squad"

Ye in my guild, this is a phenomenon.

In fact its some kind of premade for 5 men instances.

Heroics ofcourse.

I knew that those 4 people were going instances a lot together, and i also knew about name they are using for their group.

But i didnt know whats so funny on running heroics for few hours.

Untill they didnt have fifth member, which is always random from guild.

So my rl friend asked me to join them.

Ofcourse, i had nothing better to do after raid, so i joined.

One tankadin, priest, two mages and me (lock).

So they buffed up. Priest 20% mana, mages 50% mana, me 70% mana.

And then it came to reason why they call themselves pull squad.

My life tap button, was like stuck. Never had full mana.

Ok imagine:

First groups in mechanar. We killed first robot there.

Mark mobs? For what?

Pull first group to right. First mob down before tank could make any agro on him. Crowd control? For what?

Third mob is on 90%, mage steals agro, tank taunts and run into second group.

[Party][Angrybaldgnome]: Fu dera, no mana
[Party][GLDeath]: L2lifetap
[Party][Tank]: Whats mana? (note: tank is pala)
[Party][Angrybaldgnome]: Die in pain nubs.

Still everything ok. Everything was going somehow smooth.

We cleared mecha in 25 mins or so.

Still ok and doable right? Mecha is ez mode.

[Party][Tank]: what now?
[Party][Priest]: Dunno but lets do something more interesting, coz i nearly fell asleep.
[Party][GLDeath]: Shattered halls?

So we went to SH. I though that uhm they will be carefull.

They have no idea what that word means. did you ever try to aoe whole first room there?
Nor me, until that time.

45 mins to finish Naaru quest right? counting from first boss.

LOL.

That day i realised something. I have never been in normal group before.

After pulling 4 groups at once. We wiped. I was like: "wut wut, we suck."

Than tank said: [Tank]: Sorry, my mistake. Lets try 4 groups again, i think we can do it.

And we did. Next pull he took five. [Tank]: Ok we suck, we have to stick with 4.

Well whatever anyone of you thinks. Having those ppl in guild is blessing.
Running heroics with them, is adrenaline sport. If you have problems with heart, dont go.
On the other hand, i really dont know if they need fifth person there.

I think they call people just to not to make so much money. (that gnome is rich bastard :D)

My large fishing hat down before "Pull Squad".

GLDeath

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Short story

Ok i have came with an idea that some of you would maybe like some story from my pen.

I hope you ll enjoy it


HUNTER

He was lying in bed, in small room of abandoned motel. Far from any other signs of civilization. Old pickup standing outside, rusty as hell, and darkness. He felt so empty and desperate. Then he fell asleep in the sea of books regarding to ancient stories.

Room was dark, only little candle burning in the corner creating freaky shadows, crawling fear in his heart, he awakened sweating breathing fast, shaking. He looked out of window, started to shake even more, blowed the candle and curled into the corner.

Pain. Pain took his mind to different place, crying, writhing, shrieking. His skin cracking, nails dropped from fingers, his backbone shapeshifting in animal pain furiously fast. Tuft started to grow from every point of his body, like thousand needles getting through his cracked skin.
Blowing head started to split and transform into freaky form not reminding anything.

Silence, everything stopped. It was done, he stood up on his four legs, looking around with new sight. Smell, he smelled every little thing that got through doors of room. But not the one he should.

Boom! Doors smashed under unbelievable power, he reacted absolutely immediatly, jumped into man standing in smashed door. But that one was faster and ready. Two silver shots from his shotgun splited wolfs head in two pieces and his body.

Wolf fell down without move, tall man in hat and long cloak reloaded weapon, fired two more shots into dead body.
Then he made another of countless cuts on his smoking shotgun, turned around and lost in dark to continue his never ending hunt. Only glowing aura of light, keeping him safe from powers of dark was with him.

Dead body of wolf slowly transformed back to its human being bleeding on the ground of small room.

Yours GLDeath

Monday, April 21, 2008

Player you want in raid

Well ok.

To be honest, except of myself, there are only few people on this world like this.

Maybe more, but i dont know about them, so i dont care.

It is obvious, that one of them is my very good real life friend.

In fact, he is a bit autistic in compare to me. He has few lvl 70s, but his main is priest.


And that guy shows me in every raid how much my healers suck.

If priest out heals everyone in raid with about 5-10% difference, something is wrong i would say.

And you can bet something is wrong, when he wins heal meter in shadow spec.

That guy is imbalanced, or crazy. I ll leave it up to you to choose.

My biggest problem is, that i cant afford to kick him really.

Last time in pub, we have argued a little and i told him:

[GLDeath]: Noob i ll kick you as fast as i am home.
[Tris]: Do you promise?
[GLDeath]: ...

Well ye, you see. I cant even kick him.

Anyway. He is one of persons you want to have in raid. His problem is, that he refuses to be more than member after some argues with officers in past(Yes i also have officers).

And you can imagine that he is not making life of CLs easy. Thats for sure.

Example, any new boss, after few wipes and if he see that there is no real chance to kill him next try, he just wont use consumables. At least not all.

And that makes CLs and officers really pissed.

[Officerchat][Officer1]: All flasked and fully buffed up?
[Officerchat][GLDeath]: Yes i think so. (Yes i knew he is not), We are going.
[Officerchat][Officer1]: Wait a second. Tris dont have flask, only oil and food on him i see.
[Officerchat][GLDeath]: Youre bugged, i see flask on him. Lets go
[Officerchat][Officer2]: No, i cant see it too. Sec i ll tell him to use it.
[Officerchat][GLDeath]: Yea, right, good luck

One minute later

[Officerchat][Officer2]: $##*% %$&#^#^ $#^&#^# arogant bastard
[Officerchat][GLDeath]: Ok i guess we can go :P

Ye maybe someone would kick him, but without this guy, i have no real Healer in raid.

So in general. There are people, that are really worth to have in guild and raid,
Even if they are maybe little pain in your #$%.

Signign off
GL Death

Friday, April 18, 2008

Evil?

Yea, lot of ppl reply to my email.

They say I am really evil and bad.

So Am I? Not really.

I am just reflection of what normal guild leader wants to do really often.

And if you think its evil, i dont care really.

Altough also godlike person like me has real life.

Ye you can imagine how my ego suffer at work. I have a Boss there.

Its pain in ass. I cant even gkick him.

Altough i call him Ony, just like my favourite dragon from our beloved game.

And if you believe it or not, I can fight Ony in real life.

Only problem is, that i have never won a duel with him.

[Ony]: Death, I need you to stay longer at work.
[GLDeath]: Sorry boss i cant, got some shiet to do.(Raid)
[Ony]: Are you sure?
[GLDeath]: Roger that.

You see how easy it is to force someone to stay longer :P

So, full of joy, i came to raid late, everone whining like : 'Where is our imba RL?? Hope he is ok'

So i have announced that we gonna stay longer tonight.
Now THAT was WHINE.

I was so keen on raiding that night, that i didnt disband raid instantly.

[Raid][GLDeath]: Anyone has problem staying one hour longer?!!!
Silence
[Raid][GLDeath]: Ok great. So lets start :D

Everything was fine :D

I have to say 'Thanks' to my real life ony.

He learned me how to manipulate with people perfectly :D

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Definition: Newbie

Ye ok. Maybe i am hars a little.

But seriously, how can you have raiding guild if you have tons of ppl inside,

that are not educatable.

What does it mean?

Its pretty simple if you ask me. Those are ppl that have brain damage, caused
by their previous Raid leader.

Pretty simple example, Hydros.

New member, very experienced from his previous guild.

Pull, maximal dmg from all, first moving incoming, all stop damage.

Moving went fine, tanks agroing adds. AOE command on voice chat.

Direct answer on voice chat : "What??? Are you retarded??"

Hmm. Kick button started to shine. But fight in progress.

"Ok chill mate you got time after" i said for myself.

So boss is down, 3 minutes before enrage, noone died. Except of new member.

Ofc he was nuking adds one by one, stole aggro and died.

Soo logicaly whispers incoming.

[GLDeath]: Ok mate, this was last time you said something on voice chat during fight. Got it?
[Nerd]: Lol wtf, are you God or something?
[GLDeath]: Exactly. More questions?
[Nerd]: Ye, why do you aoe those mobs? Its dangerous.
[GLDeath]: Ye, you died, noone else right? So silence please next time, or i ll remove you from raid.
[Nerd]: Ye sure lol. Your tactics are retarded, you cant kill a fly.

[Nerd] has left the raid.

Lol can you imagine the shine of magic button?

But still i had perfect day at work.

[Guild][GLDeath]: Hmm why you left raid? You are not satisfied with tactics?
[Guild][Nerd]: Ye youre pretty right. And i died, your healers suck.

"Just note: He was in guild two days, his first raid"

[Guild][GLDeath]: Hmm well ok. Cant do much about it. Option 1 or Option 2?
[Guild][Nerd]: Wtf are you talking about? U suck too

[Nerd] has left the guild.

My eyes went wet. Magic button, slowly loosing the shine.

Now that guy has nerfed my imba day :((

This is why you want Newbie in raid. He has no idea what are you talking about.

He has no idea why you do things way you do. He will do what you tell to him,

shaking his little gnome ass to get some free epics.

And thats why newbie is perfect material for Raid and Guild leader.

Yours GL Death

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Well known issues

Biggest issue of this game is, that its played by people.

You know, people are not a material. Normally

But if you want to be big GL (like i am), you cant look at them as on living beings.


For me, guild members are numbers.

Two druids, five palas and so on.

For some stupid reason, every paladin has different name.


My imba idea would be to name them like Paladin_01, Paladin_02 and so on.

Point is, to achieve that all of those would be absolutely same in effectivity.

There are two possibilities.
Make them computers, which means remove any possibility of human mistakes.

Or(which i like much much more), take best players. Can be even from your guild. Like five of them. And clon them.

Like:

[GLDeath]: Heya my best mage. I got issue to discuss with ya
[Mage]: Sure thing boss, shoot it.
[GLDeath]: I need to meet you IRL
[Mage]: :O Why is that?
[GLDeath]: Uhhm lets say, uhmm i need your hair.
[Mage]: Noway u sick bastard.

[Mage] has left the guild.

Well that could be the problem in second option. People dont see my great visions in the same light as i do.

Anyone can help me with that?

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Things that make me go...

There are only few things that make me go nuts.

One of those is for sure arrogance of a "Noob".

Imagine, you are in Karazhan, just to gear up some new members and some alts.

You take neew trial warrior as OT.

Run in, Buff up. Start with trash, everything going fine, you are thinking about some time record if all goes well.

Than group comes to Attumen, The Huntsman.

OT starting on horsie right? Ppl start to nuke.

Thanks to Lord that i have thread meter. After 15 seconds of fight i was still staring at thread metter, looking for our "tank".

He just wasnt there.

So i scrolled it down. Boom!!

130 TPS!!! Sorry, but renew on me is 150 tps.

At that time, first ranged dps was down, horse biting second.

"STOP DMG" i shouted to voice chat.

"Start tanking, dont autoattack only omg"

Late, i had only CoE and imolate on it that time. It turned to me.

Ok wipe. LOL.

Clearing SSC wipeless. Right?

Soo imba whisper incoming

[Tank] whispers: FFS tell them to chill dps.
[GLDeath]: are you all right? or tanking without weapon?
[Tank]whispers: What??? If they wouldnt nuke like idiots, all would be fine!!!

Those moments, my finger was shaking on kick button.

But i took a deep breath.

[GLDeath][Raid]: Ok slight change in tactics. Main tank tanking both. Buff up!!
[Tank] whispers: why?? You suck!! I did nothing wrong!!!

Tank was kicked from raid by [GLDeath].

[GLDeath][Guild]: looking for offtank for kara. Anyone? Lock? shadow priest? rogue?

[Tank] whispers: $%# YOU!!!

Tank was kicked from guild by [GLDeath].

Ye life is sad.

I wonder why i like my "magic" button so much.

It really gives me release sometimes :D.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Hmz, cant ban so many!!

Damn

Seems i ll have to remove that option from voting, ppl really love me it seems :P

If i would do as i promised there :O Noone would read those. But anyway

Feel free to post comments, and you dont have to be shy :D

I think i can eat som critics.

Like last time in raid:

[GuildTrial]: Boss, this time you wiped us
[GLDeath]: Hmm are you sure?
[GuildTrial]: Yea i am pretty sure, saw you not banishing your mob

Guild trial was kicked from raid by [GLDeath]. Guild trial was kicked from guild by [GLDeath].

He lied. I cant afford ppl in guild lying about me.

Or he didnt?

Guess :D

Funny people

Yea people are strange. And sometimes even funny.

It happens often that you talk to strangers as GL of raiding guild.

And really often, they are freaky strange.

One conversation really sticked in my mind.


[Strange dude]: Hey man you have time to chat a little?
[GLDeath]: Not rly but shoot
[Strange dude]: Well you see, i am looking for a guild
[GLDeath]: Grats. And?
[Strange dude]: Well i decided that i ll join your guild
[GLDeath]: U sure? Maybe you should ask someone first about it.
[Strange dude]: Why? Just invite me.
[GLDeath]: www.myguildwebsite.eu, go there, read rules, post application and wait for answer
[Strange dude]: I have been there alrdy.
[GLDeath]: So?
[Strange dude]: Go there and answer my aplication.
[GLDeath]: Yea sure, lol.

Somehow, this guy rly thought that i ll go there and read his apply while leading raid, when we had lady on 8% that night.

Do you think he got invited to guild?
Not really :P

I always dreamed about acces to some of GMs powers. For example to change location of players. Would be really extremely funny.

Like:

[Tardzor spammer]: Heya, got a while?
[GLDeath]: Sure thing what you need?

`Tardzor spammer was teleported to onyxia lair`
Onyxia engages.
`Tardzor spammer was slain by Onyxia`

Yeah, thats something i would do to them. Mianly during raid times. Would be like, preset, that if someone whispers me while i am in raid, this would go by default.

It would be bad? Nah just a little release for me :DDD

GLDeath

Normal day

Yeah.

Who knows how normal day of wow GL looks like??

Well not easy to describe. Thats why i made blog to enlighten ya.

Ok, just to start. I suppose that 90% of Common GLs are employed just as i am.

So i wake up in the morning, go to work, spend 8 hours on browsing forums, managing own forum and shiet like this.

Ofc after those 8 hours i come home, tired like hell.

U know, its not easy to spend 8 hours chatting :D

Ok i eat a bit, spend some time with my family.

Than, 30-45 mins before raid i log on.

Sure thing. Untill now, all was fine.

Problem is, when you are GL, RL and CL of your class.

Thats rly not healthy.

After log in, gmotd, and:

[Guild][GLDeath]: Heya ppl.

Biggest mistake you can ever make. To show ppl you are on.

Yea. Thats something you can call spam :D

One could say that I pay 12 euro monthly for chat program with nice graphic enviroment.

And for lot of nerves. About this, i ll write later :P